What You Need to Know

Trauma can lead to impairment and/or high-risk behaviors:

• Symptoms are coping skills -> normal reactions to abnormal circumstances

Trauma can lead to children/teenagers experiencing:

• Betrayal of trust, self-blame, anger/aggression, difficulty controlling emotions, hopelessness/helplessness, etc. 

Child traumatization can lead to caregivers experiencing:

• Inappropriate self-blame and guilt, inappropriate child blame, over-protectiveness, over-permissiveness, PTSD symptoms, etc.

What Caregivers Can Do

• Be believing, supportive and non-judgmental (this is the biggest healing factor)
• Continue with routine and structure at home
• Maintain/continue appropriate discipline (avoid being overly lenient or overly strict)
• Model healthy coping skills and self-care

Let your child talk about their trauma when they need to:

• Active listening
• If you need to prepare to listen, say something similar to “I will hear what you have to say. Give me 5 minutes to get ready and then you can share with me.” 
• Eye contact, “I hear what you’re saying.”, “Let me make sure I understand you.”
• Empathy - “That must have been so hard.”, “I understand.”, “I wish that never happened.”
• Avoid asking questions directly about their trauma
• Avoid:“Who did it?” “What happened?” “When did it happen?” “Where did it happen?” “How many times did it happen?” “What did you do?” “Why? “Why didn’t you do…”
• Use open-ended questions that invite them to share more about their experience
• “How did you feel?” “Is there anything else you want to say?” “How can I help you?”
• Praise your child
• “Great job.” “Thank you for sharing that with me.” “You were very brave.”